Hey! There's a Hole in My Pocket!
by Metoria
Summary: The men keep getting holes in their pockets. Where are the holes coming from and what will Hogan do when he loses important film in the hole of his pocket? Why is Carter more concerned about Felix than the film?


A Hole in My Pocket!

…

Hogan climbed up from the tunnel and pulled out a small roll of film from his pocket. "We've got to find a safe place for this."

The other men looked around. "We could keep it in the tunnel." Suggested Carter.

Hogan thought about this but in case there was a cave in that would be the worst place. "No, if there were a cave in that would lose it for sure."

Carter nodded understanding and began trying to think of another place. He sat on the bottom bunk petting Fleix

"No one knows we have it right?" Newkirk asked. "So why not just keep it on you?"

"Right now I just may have to." Hogan said placing it into his pocket.

"ROLL CALL!"

The men filed outside. Carter looked around the barracks for a place to put Felix, then looked down at himself and opened his pocket and in the mouse went. He trotted out the door and took his place next to Kinch.

Schultz was counting the men when Carter felt the mouse move a little. The young man placed his hand gently over his pocket as though to comfort the mouse. Schultz walked near him counting the men-

"Eek!" Carter stifled a yelp.

Kinch saw Carter squirming from the corner of his eye. What was this kids problem?

"Guh…"

Kinch heard Carter struggling and grunting. Is he sick?

Then Carter stood up straight and looked around nervously.

Kinch leaned in. "What's the matter?"

Carter leaned in still looking around. "Felix ran down my leg and now I don't know where he went."

Oh, so that's why he was squirming. "I'm sure he's fine. He probably ran back into the barracks."

"Yeah probably."

Carter was so worried about Felix, that the entire Roll Call flew by without his notice.

"Dismissed!"

The men filed back into the barracks and Carter scooted over to his bunk to look for his mouse.

"Carter," Hogan spoke getting the young man's attention and then addressed the others. "As for this film…" He reached into his pocket. He stopped. He looked in his other pocket. Then his coat pockets. It was empty. He delved deeper into his pockets. He found a large hole that wasn't there before, or so he thought. "Oh no." He had to keep his cool.

"What's the matter?" Newkirk asked concerned.

"The film… It's gone." Hogan searched more of his pockets.

"Gone?" Kinch stood quickly.

"I have a hole in my pocket." Hogan said looking around on the floor.

Everyone began to scan the floor. Carter dove under his bunk in hopes of finding both the film and Felix.

"Great…" Hogan said looking around. "What am I going to tell the underground?"

Everyone was silent. They knew this was serious.

"I should have felt it fall out." Hogan said with a toss of his arms. "I should retrace my steps."

"But you hardly went anywhere." Carter pointed out.

"That should make it easier." Hogan said going to stand in the same place he was when he put it in his pocket. "Alright, I put the film in my pocket, here." So if it fell out… It must have fallen out of the pocket and went down… HERE." He pointed to the ground next to his foot and then the group began searching the area.

Carter stood and grabbed Hogan by the hands.

Hogan flinched not sure what to do.

Carter began pulling him in the path he had taken to get outside. The other men began following after Hogan, looking all around. Finally they reached outside and Hogan stood at his usual place. The men looked all around him but found nothing.

"Sir, it's not on the ground anywhere out here." Kinch said shaking his head.

Hogan let out a sigh of frustration and took his hands from Carter. "Great, now what?"

"Sir, do you think that maybe… maybe Klink might have it? If you dropped it out here that is.?"

Hogan had a sick feeling in his gut as Newkirk suggested the thing. That was possible. That was VERY possible. He rubbed his eyes. "If that's so, I'm going to have some trouble explaining myself."

"What do we do?" Carter asked worry evident in his voice.

"Where'd Kinch go?" Hogan looked around to find a man missing.

"I think he went inside." Lebeau said.

The men went into the barracks to find Kinch setting up the coffee pot. "Good thinking!"

They turned it on and listened. "If Hogan thinks he can get away with this he's in for a heap of trouble! Am I right Schultz?"

Schultz gave his typical reply whenever Klink asked him to agree.

Hogan felt really sick. "Oh, no."

The men looked around to each other's faces, seeing the worry and fear in each and every pair of eyes.

"If he thinks he can have his lights on passed 'lights out' without my knowledge he has another thing coming!" Klink's voice said over the speaker.

"WHAT?" Hogan cried. "That's what he's talking about? What about the film?"

"Blimey! Give us a 'eart attack!" Newkirk said dropping his fist that had been leaning on.

Hogan sighed. "Alright we know he doesn't have it." he unplugged the coffee pot. "We've gotta find out where it is."

The men stood and came out of the office to the common room. "Where could it be?"

Carter began looking around the bunks again.

"Carter we looked there!" Newkirk said.

"I know I'm looking for Felix."

Before Carter could finish his search Newkirk tugged him to his feet. "We gotta look somewhere we wouldn't expect it to be!"

"Felix?"

"What? No the film! Blimey, the film is more important!"

"What if we trained Felix to look for it." Carter suggested.

Newkirk said nothing and just looked at him. Then the Englander began laughing. "I give up!" He said between laughs.

Carter groaned in irritation. He'd show them! He'd find Felix AND the film! He stomped out of the barracks and headed over to barracks four. He knocked and was permitted in. He opened the door and peeped in. "Have you guys seen Felix?"

"He's missing?" asked one of the men.

"Yeah, right after roll call, or well during roll call."

"Sorry, I haven't seen him, But I'll let you know if I do."

"Thanks!" Carter left and headed over to the mess hall where Felix often played.

…

Back in the barracks The men were in a fluster, not just because they lost the film but because they lost quite a few things.

"I did NOT 'ave a 'ole in me pocket when I went to bed last night!" Newkirk said looking around for his lighter.

"I can't believe I lost my lucky penny!" another man cried.

"Alright, someone is purposely putting holes in our pockets."

Lebeau came forward. "Every pocket in the barracks has at least one hole in it!"

"We have to find out who is responsible." Hogan shoved his hands into his pockets and the next thing he felt was his flesh. His hand went right through his pocket bottom. He pulled his hand out along with what used to be his pocket. The threading keeping the fabric in place came loose and the entire pocket came out. Both of them actually.

"Blimey, someone really sabotaged those pockets." Newkirk said taking the tattered cloth.

Hogan began thinking. " That's it…" He whispered to himself. "'Sabotaged'." He turned to face the men. "We've been sabotaged! Someone has sabotaged us! It could be one of our own, or one of the Germans."

The men began looking at one another.

The door to the barracks opened.

"Hey guys!" Carter said happily.

Everyone looked at the entering figure of Carter. The one who was least concerned. They all thought the same thing. But it couldn't be.

"Carter," Hogan had to handle this carefully. He knew that it just wasn't possible but he had to be sure. "Where did you go?"

Carter smiled. "Well first I went to barracks four to see if they had seen Felix, which they hadn't. Then I thought I ought to check out the mess hall since he likes to play there and sure enough he was there." Carter held up the mouse.

Newkirk came from behind Carter and shook his head to Hogan who nodded. Carter's pockets had been searched.

"What's going on?" Carter asked.

"Oh uhm…" Hogan thought quickly for a cover so as not to worry or upset the kid. "Turns out everyone has holes in their pockets."

"Yeah! My entire left pocket came out!" Carter said holding up a piece of tattered cloth.

"You too?" Hogan asked holding up his own tattered cloth.

"Hey! We're a pair!" Carter said cheerfully.

"Say, Carter," Newkirk started. "Why aren't you that worried about the film?"

"Who says I'm not?" Carter asked insulted.

"You just don't seem it that's all."

"Oh, I try not to worry. Plus we know the Germans don't have it."

"How do you know that?"

"Well Burkhalter would be here by now if Klink had it, and if Klink didn't have it, the soldiers wouldn't waste time getting it to him, so they'd rush in, in hopes they might get a promotion of some kind."

Hogan looked at Carter. Sometimes the kid could be very air headed, and then other times, very logical. "That's… true." Maybe the kid was schizophrenic. He looked at Newkirk with a raised eyebrow and the Englander shrugged.

"Alright, well our top priority right now is to find that film!"

"Right!" Carter went to run out of the barracks but Hogan caught him.

"Where do you plan on looking?" Hogan asked.

"I hadn't thought of that." Carter admitted sheepishly.

Hogan smiled and shook his head. 'Back to his air headed self.'

"We need to find that film by tonight! We also need to work on a back up plan if we can't find it by then. What information do we have that we might be able to replace it with if we have to, so their trip isn't a total waste?"

The men began to name things off. "What about the rumor of the troop movements?"

"Add it to the list!"

"The number of new tanks the Panzer Units have gotten?"

"Put that down as well."

"How about the-"

"Hey, where's Felix?" Carter asked looking around.

"Carter, why are you so worried about that mouse?" Newkirk asked impatiently.

"Well I didn't want to say anything because I thought you might be frightened."

"Me? Frightened?" Newkirk shook his head and rolled his eyes. "Why would I be frightened?"

"Because Princess got loose from Hilda's apartment and is wandering around the woods. She might come after Felix and I figured you might get nervous if you knew she was around. Plus she wont attack film but she WILL attack Felix." Carter explained at last.

Everyone looked at Newkirk who had gone pale. He looked around himself and shook it off. "Why would I care if there's some stupid cat wandering around?"

An angry growl came from the rafters.

Everyone looked up slowly to find the cat looking down at Newkirk with a twitching tail.

Newkirk side stepped behind Hogan.

"Hi, Princess, How are… you… what's in your mouth?" Carter's eyes bugged out. "Is that Felix?" Carter then climbed up the bunk and leaped up at the rafters, grabbing the cat. The two hung there and struggled a bit before the cat opened it's mouth and Felix fell.

Lebeau was able to catch the defenseless mouse.

Carter jumped down from the rafters with Princess in his arms. "We should get you back to Hilda." Carter then proceeded to take the cat out. As he opened the door Klink went to open it and stumbled in. He was about to yell at the young American, but when the cat hissed at the German officer, Klink jumped back.

"What is that cat doing here?" Klink asked, fear evident in his voice as he pointed at the monster.

"She got loose and now I'm taking her back to Hilda."

"Good, get rid of it!"

The cat continued to hiss and growl as Carter took her back to Hilda.

"Kommandant," Hogan greeted.

"I take it your fretting to find it aren't you."

Hogan resisted to let his fear get the better of him. Best to play dumb. "Find what?"

"Don't act like you don't know." Klink reprimanded.

Hogan didn't know what to say. "How do you know if it's mine?"

"Because it was where you were standing today. I figure it must have fell out of your left pocket." Klink said matter-of-factly.

That was the pocket Hogan had put the film in.

The men looked at one another as Klink fished for the item. He pulled it out. It was small, the size of a palm maybe. That was the size of the film container. Klink held it out.

Hogan looked at it and relief and even a bit of irritation flowed through him. Hogan shook his head. "Sorry, it isn't mine."

Klink looked at him.

Newkirk looked over Hogan's shoulder. "'ey, that's me lighter!" Newkirk snatched the lighter he had lost from the German's hand and looked at it. Yup it was his alright. It must have fallen out of his right pocket… right… next to Hogan's left…

"I did something nice for you by returning your lighter, now I hope you might do something for me?" Klink said in light fashion.

"What?" Hogan asked.

Klink got serious and grumpy. "When it's lights out, all lights had better be out!" He huffed and stomped out.

Hogan looked at his men. "I think when this day is over I might have at least one heart attack."

The men chuckled and agreed.

"Oh, no!"

Everyone looked to Lebeau who was now on his knees following the escaped mouse.

He went under the bunk and after scurrying about under the bunk the other men finally heard a groan of annoyance from under the bunk.

"What's the matter? Can't catch him?" Newkirk asked jokingly.

"You aren't going to believe this!" Lebeau said coming out from under the bunk. "Guess what I found in Felix's nest?"

"What?" Hogan asked walking toward the Frenchman.

Lebeau unfolded his hand and right there in the palm was a container of film.

Everyone groaned in both relief and irritation.

Hogan took it and decided to keep it in site at all times until that night.

Carter came back into the barracks. "Okay, Princess is back with Hilda." Carter looked around. "What's up?"

"We found the film." Newkirk said sitting down at the table.

"Really? Where was it?" Carter asked cheerfully.

"Under your bunk."

"I take it the film was kicked under the bunk when we were heading out?"

"No." Hogan said pouring himself some coffee.

"Then what?" Carter asked confused.

"Felix stole it." Lebeau said with a smirk.

Carter looked around at first, then a smile spread across his face. He and the men began laughing and decided not to do anything for the rest of the day until they met up with the underground agent.

…

Hogan and Carter sat in the bushes waiting for their contact.

It wasn't long before a car drove up. The door opened slowly and a man stepped out. "Colonel Hogan?"

"Hans!" Hogan jumped up and trotted over to the man.

"You have the film?"

"Right here." Hogan reached into his pocket. It was gone. He looked around.

"What's the matter."

"Colonel," Carter pointed to his leader's hat.

Hogan sighed relief. "That's right." The secret pocket in his hat was the only pocket that didn't have a hole. He took the film out and handed it over to the man. A sudden relief fell over him, as it was now out of his possession.

"Thank you." The man had no intention to stay long. He took the film, fled back to his car and drove off.

When the men got back to the camp they were happy to find that Newkirk had fixed every hole in every pocket that the men possessed.

"Good we can put things in our pockets again."

"Yeah but where did the holes come from?" Lebeau asked.

"Uhm…"

Everyone looked to Carter who pulled Felix out of one of his pockets… then the pocket itself.

"I think Felix has been eating out our pockets."

Everyone groaned. They would have to be careful what happened to their pockets and be sure they didn't have any holes in them from now on if they wanted to put something in them.

Aside from a mouse that eats pockets they were free of trouble for that time. Luckily the cat was gone and Klink didn't suspect a thing.

Things were looking pretty good.

…

**I wrote this because… This happens to me all the time! I have a pair of jeans that the pocket is actually coming right out with three holes in it and another hole in the other pocket. But that's because they are worn, not because a mouse ate them.**

**I thought I'd write in the cat from my other fic Killer Kitty just for fun. I hope you guys liked this.**


End file.
